for me, I’m the type that if it’s not something I want to do, I won’t even do it. I can’t really be forced into something I don’t want to do. if I am forced, it will be pretty poor quality work and I will spend most of the time daydreaming about something else.
but if it’s something I want to do, then I will have trouble stopping. I will keep doing it until I forget to rest or eat or take a break. I will just want to keep going. I am very much driven by passion.
you don’t need to “deserve” rest. you can rest simply because you are human.
you can take time off, you can have unexplained gaps in your resume, you are allowed to rest for no reason at all other than just to rest. and you do not need to explain that to anyone.
this is the kind of world we should have.
you can rest and take time off, and not feel bad about it. and not have that rest say something about how you are lazy, unproductive, not ambitious. you can rest because as living organisms, rest is built into…
this past year has been a lot for everyone, and I wanted to share some things I learned that helped me, which can hopefully help you guys too.
for me, sometimes when you feel that everything is spinning out of control, some comforting words are all you need.
here they are:
My friend once told me that her dream job was to be a product manager at Facebook.
To which I asked,
But what do you actually want to do?
Other than just the prestige and high salary, what actually attracts you to that job? What makes that job necessarily a “dream” job and working somewhere else not?
Since our youth, we were taught to fixate on a certain “goal” and focus on it whether it was a board position in a student organization or the one that dominates our adolescence: the college application process. …
True, but I also wish that eventually you can reach thoughts that are your own, and aren't just echoes of your parents or the abusive/pessimistic voices you've acquired from others. Hopefully, you can choose to accumulate the positive voices and internalize those.
I do have a Wordpress blog, but I write about really private things there, so for that reason, choose to keep it private for now.
When I want to publicize my writing, I go to Medium. But I’m well aware now that the content on Medium is really siloed. It’s geared towards tech and entrepreneurship and self-improvement. It’s not bad, but it’s just not things I want to write normally, and the audience probably doesn’t fit the writing I truly want to do very well.
But where else can I go for publicity? It seems that there isn’t any other…
everything has its own timeline.
things are temporary.
sometimes you need to go at things for a certain time before you do the next thing, and there is no rush. and everything has its own flow and timeline.
and you need to respect that timeline.
sometimes you just need to sit through a certain thing before you can move onto the next thing, and there is nothing wrong with what is happening right now. …
It requires the ability to withstand potential rejection. It requires confidence. It requires the ability to know what you want and don’t want, what you can and cannot accept, and being firm about it.
It requires the ability to be honest with yourself about what you can and cannot handle, what your energy can truly give. And finally, saying no requires the ability to love yourself, respect yourself, and put yourself first. And that is very hard to do.
They will be angry with you, call you names, say you are selfish. …
I’m not sure if I’m existentialist or whatever philosophical term people will use to categorize me. I just sometimes feel that life is a bit meaningless, or I’m just drifting around.
And I realized that I tend to feel that way when I’m being passive. I’m not actively doing or participating in anything.
I tend to be on autopilot, perhaps stuck in a routine and going to a job where I don’t really care about what I’m learning. Or stuck in relationships where I’m not growing, and I feel comfortable.
And that is when you need to actively create meaning…
After my junior year summer internship as a venture capital analyst, I knew that it was not the career move for me. I went into the internship thinking it was my dream job, but afterwards, I knew that I wanted to do something more creative.
On the last day of work, my manager sat me down for some career advice.
“When I was your age,” he said, “I started my first job in investment banking. I hated it, but my girlfriend at that time was doing it, so I just went along with it.” He paused.
“Then I realized I…